So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
