Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
