I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
