Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
