VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
These tits shall not be calmed
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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