Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
