Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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