I wish i was in the wii world.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
