its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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