I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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