I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
