I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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