Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
