My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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