it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
