Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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