My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
