im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
