Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
