so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
