I wish I only lived at night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize