dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
