I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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