he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
