Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
