i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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