I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
