My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
