You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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