Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
