her vagine was all disorganized.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
