I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
