Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize