I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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