weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
