just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
