If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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