hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
