idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I did not marry a roomba.
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