I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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