I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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