everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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