Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
