your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
