I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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