you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
