so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
