dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The air was thick with penises
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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