i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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