In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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