3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
