Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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