i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
