So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
