I just made out with a guy for $7.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
