It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if only i could text you this smell
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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