Screwed.edu
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
