please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
