Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
