if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
