With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize