butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
