PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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