so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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